Sexting in Suburbia (2012)

Starring no one.

Dina Van Cleve decided that the best solution to giving her boyfriend blue balls was to send him a video of her nude. Low and behold the video was sent to every one in the school. Dina is summarily and viciously slut shamed. It’s relentless. Within the first 5 minutes of the movie, Dina has hung herself. The rest of the movie revolves around her mom trying to find out the why and who of it all.

This is where it gets all “Lifetimey” with an escalation of violence and intimidation. They did my favorite, the broken window. They also pulled a page out of my book and had the boyfriend arrested on distribution of child pornography. Seems like our perpetrator is some blonde named Skyler. She’s is hellbent on slut shaming Dina, even after death. Yes they defaced the tombstone with condoms, pills, and graffiti. The school gets all pissy at Mom because she’s daring to find out who bullied her daughter into suicide.

The acting in this is tremendously bad, mostly from the actress. I would say, it’s Canadian without checking IMDB.com. The writing is full of these weak monologues, and has the requisite mentions of facebook and the term “viral”. Her one friend seems to have Asperger’s and reads the books of Skyrim. It’s ridiculous that the whole school turned on her. Skyler is being righteous here by not letting it die due to jealousy. Teenagers are mean, but they can also be righteous. So what I am saying is that some bitches should have gotten beat down.

What I found shocking about this movie is that it is 2 hours long with commercials. Unless aliens invade, there’s no reason this should be longer then an hour. I think there might actually be more commercials then movie here. I’d say that this movie is not awesomely bad enough to watch. I don’t even think I can get through it all. There’s sure to be an arrest or something, or some big speech at the end. Blah. This needs to be resolved with gun violence.

Oh wait, I just read spoilers. Claire was the one that sent the texts around, the Asperger’s friend. Skyler’s mom is behind the continued harassment. Also, LOL at leaving the magazine cut outs for the threat note. Maybe I’ll watch the rest of this.

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About craneial

A jaunty pantry boy, who never knew his place.
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